Finding the Focus

The main focus of my memoir is me riding the roller coaster.

I pretty much only talked about how I felt and what I heard, so I will be trying to add more details to that...

The cold air slapped at my face and flowed through my hair while people screamed their hearts out. We went up; we went down; we went all the way to the left and to the right (so far that my sides were paralell to the ground). Adrenaline rushed through me so abruptly it was hard to figure out when it began to flood throughout me. I saw the whole amusement park go by so quickly it was hard to distinguish what was what. I sure was screaming!